7 Common Misconceptions About Custody Agreements

Only a Parent Can Obtain Custody

Another myth that persists is that the only people who can obtain custody are parents. The courts want to keep the children in a parent’s home and ensure that a divorce or separation does not completely disrupt their life, but it’s not always possible. Instead, many situations occur where the best place for the child is with grandparents, other family members, or even family friends.

In some situations, both parents will be incarcerated or have a history of substance abuse, making them unfit to care for the child at the time. Courts can grant non-parents permanent physical and legal custody, but the parents can appeal this when they change their behavior and can prove they are fit to raise a child.

Children Can Choose

This myth dominates public perception surrounding child custody arrangements because of film and TV. Children cannot decide who they will live with and who receives custody. In some situations, judges will hear from a child to obtain their opinion, but this is just one factor the judge considers. Depending on the case, it can have more importance than other details of the case, like if a child is steadfast in their opposition to living with one parent.

The Mother Always Wins

Another myth perpetuated by TV and social media is that the court always favors the mother. In many cases, the court awards custody to the person who can best care for the child, and that’s often the parent who already acts as the primary caregiver.

Some households still operate with the father working and the mother staying at home. This lifestyle is part of why numbers have skewed more toward mothers, but this correlation does not prove any causation. Rather, it is more indicative of the lifestyle that is still present in many homes.

With a History of Abuse or Substance Abuse, You’ll Never Get Custody

One myth that has hurt many families is that you can never get custody if you have a history of abuse, mental illness, criminality, or substance abuse. This myth has been somewhat true in the past, but more courts recognize that people can change and prove that their actions no longer represent who they are today. Courts don’t want to cut off a parent from their child entirely, and, depending on the other parent, they may be more willing to give the other parent custody. It goes on a case-by-case basis, but people do have the capacity to change and serve as great parents for their children.

You Can Modify Your Agreement Without the Court’s Approval

Many divorced or separated couples will come to an agreement, but as things change in the following years, they’ll choose to do things a little differently. Weekend visits turn into multiple times a week, child support payments can change, and more, but that doesn’t mean these choices change the legal custody agreement. Only the court can do custody arrangement modifications, and anything against that breaches the agreement. It’s important to communicate with the other parent and figure out what works best, but you want to work with the court to ensure everyone is happy and represented.

These common misconceptions about custody agreements paint an inaccurate picture of how these proceedings go about. It can create misconceptions and accidentally push people to go through the process differently, potentially hurting themselves and their children in the process. If you’re looking for a father custody attorney in Illinois, look no further than Schiller DuCanto & Fleck LLP. We’re aware of these misconceptions and the best way to navigate this complicated system, and we’ll help you get through it.