Mar 25, 2021

Protecting Your Children After Divorce

Protecting Your Children After Divorce

Following a divorce, it can be challenging to put your life back together. On top of everything else, one of the biggest challenges you face is managing the comfort, stability, and happiness of your children, who find themselves caught in between divorced parents. Children of divorce face obstacles that children of intact marriages do not, many of which threaten their ability to thrive in new circumstances. You can shield them from some of these stressors by following this guide to protecting your children after divorce.

Don’t Denigrate an Ex-Spouse

No matter what your relationship with your ex-spouse may look like, your child is as much theirs as yours, and relentless attacks on 50 percent of their parentage will begin to feel like personal attacks as well. Children can internalize these remarks and suffer blows to their self-worth. Encourage loving relationships with both parents—attempts to turn a child against one of their parents have a way of backfiring, either achieving the opposite effect or alienating them from both of you.

Don’t Argue in Their Presence

Watching or hearing parents fight can be deeply traumatic for children, who can feel fearful, depressed, anxious, or worried for their immediate safety. Maintain a cordial and professional relationship with your ex-spouse, and avoid heated arguments within earshot.

Don’t Use Children as Intermediaries

It’s a bit much to expect your kids to use visits to their other parent as fact-finding missions and report back to you. To be sure, if you have real concerns about drug abuse in the household or anything that could endanger your child, you deserve to know and get involved, but resist the urge to interrogate them about your ex-spouse’s life. Most importantly, communicate directly with your ex-spouse, not through your kids.

Maintain Consistency and Continuity

A parent’s departure represents a major disruption in your child’s or children’s routine and comfort. After separation, do your best to avoid making even more jarring changes to their lives. Continue the same extracurricular activities, try to remain enrolled in the same school, and if possible, keep children’s primary residence in the same house.

Ensure Timely Child Support Payments

Part of protecting your children after divorce is making sure they have the necessary financial support from their other parent. Without full and timely child support payments, the rigors of raising a child can be insurmountable, leading to everything from an inability to pay tuition to stretching the weekly grocery bill too far. To avoid a situation that would put such a strain on you and your child, consider an Illinois child support attorney who will work to secure the child support payments to which you and your child are entitled.

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