January is more than halfway over and statistics tell us that most of us have already failed to keep our New Year’s resolutions. However, there is still time to get back on track or, for some of us, to get started. When the New Year involves a divorce, things can seem even more arduous. Whether you are just starting the process or you are in the middle of a divorce, here are four (4) helpful things you can resolve to do as you forge ahead in 2020:
1. Prioritize. Make a list of the financial and / or parenting issues that are of concern to you. Start the list by including everything you can think of and put it down whether you think it will actually be an “issue” or not. Then, step away from your list(s) for a day and come back to review it with “fresh eyes.” Next, take your list and prioritize the issues, taking care to be honest about the level of importance that an issue has for you. Clearly, everything cannot be No.1 or even make the top 5 list. Keep this list with you as a reminder to yourself, and guide for your lawyer, as you go through the divorce process. It is very easy (and common) to lose sight of what is important during the process and, even though our priorities may change, it is helpful to have a guideline of priorities as you go through this process.
2. Organize. There is no better time than the present to get organized. Whether you still work with hard copies or have moved everything to digital, it is important to have an organization system for your documents and information throughout the divorce process. While organizing everything can be overwhelming, it does not have to be! Take things in stages and do not be afraid to ask for help from trusted family members, friends or professionals.
3. Energize. Find something that “energizes” you to help you get through the process. Yoga and meditation are great ways to channel negative energy and gain greater awareness or perspective. Yet, these may not work for you and that is perfectly fine! Find the positive thing that works for you – cooking, drawing / coloring, exercising or joining a book club. Whatever it is, it is important to have something to channel negative energy and turn it into something positive!
4. Realize. Be honest with yourself and realize that this process, no matter how difficult, will not last forever and does not have to define you. Going through a divorce is just a chapter in your book of life. Whether you are just starting the chapter or in the final kimstages, realizing that there is more to come will give you greater perspective as you move through the process and plan for your next chapter!
Make the most of the rest of this month and forge ahead into the New Year knowing that you are doing all you can to prioritize, organize and energize your life because you realize there is much more to come!