How To Determine Your Parenting Plan After Divorce

Develop a Schedule That Works for Everyone

You likely had your schedule down to a science before the divorce, and getting a new schedule locked in will be a massive help to establishing normalcy for parents and children. Remember, your schedule now has more meaning, though. This is no longer a matter of determining who picks up the kids after soccer practice; it’s a matter of how long your children spend with each parent.

The most common court-recommended parenting plan is a 50/50 split. There are several options that all work out to be an even time-split, including:

• Alternating weeks
• 3-3-4-4 or 2-2-5-5: three days with one parent, three days with the other, then four days with the first, and four days with the second. 2-2-5-5 is the same, but with different stay durations.
• 2-2-3 rotation: two days with Parent A, then two days with Parent B. Finally, parent A gets the kids for a three-day weekend, and the rotation begins again with Parent B.

Long-distance parenting or other considerations may require you to tailor your schedule to your situation. While these schedules are common, that doesn’t mean you must make them work. The most important factor is making parenting work for both spouses’ schedules while balancing the time your children spend with each parent.

Keep a Calendar

A child’s life involves many important dates, from concerts to sports games to dances. While divorce can create a whirlwind, you can create a calendar to keep track of all these events so you don’t miss a moment of your child’s life.

You can use a retroactive calendar to help, too. Recreating a calendar of the last six months can help show the roles that each parent plays in a child’s life. This makes it easier to figure out a schedule that can work moving forward!

Create a Communication Plan

Despite going through a divorce, you’ll still need to stay in contact with your former spouse to make co-parenting work. Once your kid is moving between homes like clockwork, it will become easy to communicate less and less. However, organized information is essential to a child’s life, and you shouldn’t force your kids to be messengers.

Even if it isn’t strictly necessary, we recommend sending a summary of your child’s stay, including important information, following every handoff. You can send it in an email or text, and the message should include things like any grades your child received, friends they played with after school, upcoming appointments, and anything else that’s relevant.

Set up a schedule to see your children regularly if you're long-distance. As we’ve all learned during the COVID-19 pandemic, video calls are a great way to stay in touch with your loved ones.

Look Over Finances

While custody can end up going to one parent over the other, both parents are usually responsible for a child’s finances. Determining what child support will look like is essential for both parents, especially in a long-distance parenting plan. That’s because one parent will likely receive a little extra money every month while the other will need to budget to send some money every month.

An Illinois family law attorney can help you through any questions you have about child support but remember to keep a log of all child-related expenses. This will help you break down where child support payments are going (they cannot be applied to any expense, only those relating to the well-being of your child).

Now that you know how to determine your parenting plan after a divorce, come together with your former spouse and your attorney to build the best possible life for your children.