Setting the Record Straight: Debunking 10 Divorce Myths

Standard of Living

There’s another myth that a man’s standard of living will improve while a woman’s drops significantly following a divorce. This statistic may have been more of the case in previous years, but life has changed in the last few decades. A few decades ago, some people may have ostracized divorced women, and it was much harder for them to raise children independently due to a lack of employment or financial independence opportunities.

Today, both parents often work and have independent skills and resources. The standard of living each spouse experiences after a divorce is more dependent on their own resources and choices.

Arguing and Fighting Mean You Should Divorce

There’s another myth about children and divorce—some people assume that if parents fight a lot, it’s better for the children if the parents get a divorce instead of trying to make it work. A child should never be in an abusive home, but the process of divorce can also be traumatic.

In instances like these, there’s a lot of gray area rather than one-size-fits-all solutions. If you and your spouse engage in incredibly heated arguments still despite trying alternative styles of communication or working with professionals, divorce may be worth discussing. However, if you and your child’s safety does not seem at risk and you are happily invested in your relationship, it may be worth continuing to seek other solutions.

Unhappiness Means You Have a Bad Relationship

Similar to the last point, there’s another myth that if you are unhappy, divorce is the only solution. While this can be the best solution for some, it should come after extensive communication between you, your partner, and potentially a marriage counselor. Sometimes, even seeing a personal therapist can help, as some issues may be personal and not related to the marriage. Like everything else in life, marriages can be rocky, and these stressful moments come and go. While divorce can be the answer, it is rarely the best first resort.

Mothers Always Receive Custody

A common myth in social circles and online is that mothers always receive custody and that divorce court has a bias against fathers. These two myths go hand in hand, and both are untrue. A just court doesn’t pay attention to someone’s gender; it solely focuses on the interest and well-being of the children.

Each Side Gets Half

Another misconception is that in the event of a divorce, both parties receive half of the marital estate. This partitioning varies from state to state, but in Illinois, the courts distribute based on equity rather than simply being equal. Courts look at income and other applicable factors when dividing assets to ensure one spouse doesn’t end up with a greater burden than the other.

Adultery Damages You

One huge myth about divorce is that if your partner committed adultery, they lose their ability to get anything in the divorce. It varies state by state—however, more states are no-fault divorce states, meaning that something such as adultery does not create blame in a marriage. Unless the adultery severely impacted finances and parenting ability, the division of assets would be the same as a divorce without adultery. This aspect applies to divorces in Illinois.

After seeing the record set straight and these 10 divorce myths debunked, you may realize that divorce isn’t as scary as you thought it was. If you wish to pursue a divorce, come to us at Schiller DuCanto & Fleck. We are some of the best collaborative divorce lawyers in Illinois, and we can keep your divorce amicable and simple but still ensure your interests are represented.