Jan 12, 2020

The Emotional Stages of Divorce

The Emotional Stages of Divorce

Everybody that goes through a divorce handles the emotional stages of divorce differently. Many people experience these emotions in sequential order, but others may not. Regardless, divorce is challenging and emotional nonetheless. Below we’ll break down the phases of emotions you can expect during the divorce process.

The Process Starts With Denial

As with any separation, you and your spouse have realized that you can’t fix your marriage. Once the divorce process begins, you can expect a mixture of emotions such as sadness and confusion, but ultimately, you’ll likely refuse to accept the divorce. Instead, you’ll probably go about your day telling yourself everything’s fine—that is until you accept the divorce as reality.

You May Then Become Angry

Once you’ve accepted that you and your spouse are in fact separating, there’s a good chance you’re going to feel angry with them. Anger is one of the most common emotions to feel throughout a divorce, and rightly so. Perhaps you feel betrayed and neglected, or that you’re just not worth fighting for. No matter the reason for your anger, you have every right to feel that emotion.

The Negotiating Process Can Lead to Frustration

After moving past some of the anger, it’s a good time for you and your attorney to start negotiations. But remember—your attorney is on your side throughout the process, so do your best to keep your emotions under control when you’re working with them. If you allow your emotions to drive your requests during negotiations, you’re more likely to have unrealistic expectations and requests. As such, it's easy to become frustrated. So, save yourself from future stress and go into the bargaining process with realistic desires.

Depression Starts as The Divorce Becomes Reality

Arguably the most common emotion felt throughout divorce is depression, or deep sadness for a few reasons. You may begin asking yourself if you did enough for your marriage, if the divorce is your fault, or simply feel upset because the marriage didn’t work. Regardless of the reason, you’re likely to feel depressed at some point in the divorce process. In fact, depression may be the first emotion someone feels when they realize they’re going to go through a divorce.

You’ll Ultimately Realize That You’re Going to Be Okay

Throughout the entire divorce process, you’re going to become a stronger and better version of yourself. In fact, many people realize that they’ll be okay long before your attorneys reach an agreement, which makes the process much easier on you. Now, just because you’ve accepted that you’ll be fine, doesn’t mean you still aren’t going to be angry or sad. Most of the transition and acceptance occurs after the divorce.

Despite the reason for your divorce, you’ll likely experience all the emotional stages of divorce—sometimes more than once. However, if you accept the process and allow yourself to grieve, you’ll be okay in the long run.

If you’re currently going through a divorce or preparing for one, you’re going to need an attorney to represent you. At SDF Law, our attorneys are here for you and your family - we can help you with a marital settlement agreement in Illinois. Contact us today for more information, and we’ll be happy to help you.

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