Ways to Maintain a Relationship With Kids During Divorce

Divorce is a challenging process for anyone, but it’s especially hard on kids, regardless of their age. Kids don’t want to see their parents separate and they often don’t understand why it’s happening. Although you need time for yourself to process the divorce and make important decisions with your attorney, your kids need you during this transitional time as well. Your relationship may be changing with your spouse, but that doesn’t mean your relationship with your kids needs to also. We break down a few ways to maintain a relationship with kids during divorce in our guide below.

Spend time with them and answer their questions

Depending on the age of your children, they may not understand what’s happening. Alternatively, they could blame themselves for the divorce; however, you must assure them that’s not the case. Make it clear that you want to maintain a relationship with them. Most kids merely want your time and attention. We understand that your schedule is busy, but you need to carve out time to spend with your kids. Your kids will have a lot of questions, and it’s best to be honest with them because you’re not going to have all the answers, especially in the beginning.

Keep your children out of the adult decisions

A major mistake parents make during a divorce is asking their kids for advice or—even worse—sending messages to your spouse through your kid. In most cases, you should never ask your child to make a decision about custody and who they’d rather live with. Your attorney, your spouse’s attorney, and a judge will make that determination based on the child’s best interest. In some cases, your child can influence the decision, but they shouldn’t be put into the position to make that decision. Furthermore, your child isn’t the reason for the divorce, so they should be kept out of the process as much as possible.